i am not asking for sympathy

i think i am beyond redemption. The anatomy of my brain is as complex as ABC.
I thought things will be okay but it is not, in reality. it just happens that eveything is okay because everyone acts as if it is okay when it is in fact not okay.

i hate class politics.
i hate back-to-back bitching.
why cant God make all of us mouthless?
or rather, i think i dwell too much on the nitty-gritties.
i do not hate you
i hate myself.

o-k-a-y, can someone please throw me a bottle of Optimism and hope?
you have no idea how much i need and crave for a temporal ecstasy that brings to an all-new high.

AAAAARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

you know things are bad when the effect of a glimpse of THE GUITARIST lasts only a short mo. when it used to last for a week. 19 floor is in the running but still waaaay behind.