the trouble with tissue

ah mao and his ciggies and contact lenses.

I would love to buy tissue for you.
But it would be better for you and me if you can tell me what kind of tissue paper you want.
If you just vaguely tell me, "tissue".
I would assume you just want a packet of pocket tissue.
I wouldn't know that you had wanted and expected...
Brand XYZ
3-ply
small slim packaging
and you would rather have Winnie the Pooh prints then that of a plain daisy.

You NEED to tell me all what are your preferences. if not i'll go on assuming that, you'll like the tissue I got for you when you said with a smile, "You should take ownership of this tissue-buying duty".

Assume, as a good friend once told me, spells out to be ASS-U-ME = making an ass out of you and me.

so, please.
The next time you want me to buy a packet of tissue for you, tell me what exactly you want.
What brand
How many ply
Buy from where
How many packets
How soft
Your preferred budget
.....

If not...
When you ask me to buy tissue for you,
I'll show you the above placard.